​When I talk about ‘finding a good fit’ I am referring to the therapeutic relationship between client and therapist. One of the most important factors of therapeutic success is having a strong therapeutic alliance. The importance of this is significant, as you (the client) need to be able to trust the therapist enough to share some of the most vulnerable parts of yourself. Outside of a therapy context, you probably wouldn’t go around sharing all of your most secret, private (possibly darkest) parts of yourself with just anybody, so why should it be different when it comes to therapy?  As a client you have the right to try out counsellors to find one that suits you. If you don’t feel it is a good fit, don’t be afraid to ask for an appointment with a different counsellor next time (if this is an option at the agency or organization you are attending). Therapists are aware of the importance of this factor and ultimately want you to be successful and thrive in counselling…even if it isn’t with them.  I personally would much rather have a client transfer to another therapist than for them to miss out on all of the benefits of counselling, just because we weren’t a good match.

There can be several reasons for a lack of ‘good fit’ between client and counsellor.  Some of the factors to consider:

​The chain broke; the one that latched my value to their judgment. I could hear it breaking; a series of quick metallic clanks all at once. And it was remarkably freeing.
 
I was able to let go without anger or hurt. My internal gaze centered on a cerulean blue horizon above that beach, and the knowledge that I had and would again experience untainted joy. I sensed with a deep certainty that went beyond instinct that my value was limitless because it came from within.
 
The weight of their judgment was lifted, and I found that my value and their opinions of me could exist simultaneously, without one affecting the other.
 
Following a session of EMDR, some might describe it as a waking dream. The psychotherapist uses calming techniques like deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or positive visualization (e.g., installing a “calm place”) to help the client manage the feelings attached to each memory. During the session, the client’s eye movements from side to side, or stimulations done by tactile sensors held in each hand, trigger rapid processing of chains of memories while providing an anchor to the present day. 

So I realize that counselling and psychotherapy can be a very intimidating process for many, and can feel almost too scary to even consider as an option. Well I am here to try to calm your nerves, hopefully answer some questions, and break things down a bit.

What type of counselling is right for me?
First of all, there are a few different types of counselling and many different styles.  A few of the types are: individual, couples, family and group.

Individual counselling is one to one, and likely the most common type.  If you want to work on getting along with others, maybe couples or family counselling is for you.  The dynamics of these types are all quite different, as there are different personalities at play. The other type you might come across is group counselling, which means a group of (usually) unknown to each other individuals who all have a common thread. It is usually led by two co-counsellors. Group counselling is sometimes more accessible than individual, and can be extremely valuable. They all have their benefits, but only you can decide what is right for you at the moment.  Some people may see different counsellors for different purposes at different times in their life. This makes sense if you consider that humans are complex beings with multiple dynamic relationships and are constantly changing over the lifespan.
​
In terms of the different styles – well there are so many that I couldn’t even list them all here.  However, some of the main groupings of approaches on the scene these days are: Psychodynamic, Cognitive-Behavioural, Humanistic and Neuroscience-Informed.  Within these groups there are a myriad of different styles.  Each therapist is unique in their own approach and will often have multiple influences within the work that they do with their clients.  I know this seems like things are getting pretty complicated, BUT there is a silver lining here.  There are several factors unifying counselling styles that are common across the board.  Counselling is collaborative, meaning you work directly with your counsellor to achieve your goals.  It is a safe-place to be yourself and to talk about your concerns, issues in your life, and your feelings regarding these events or occurrences. Also, you can speak openly and confidentially while having someone listen to you non-judgmentally.