By Linda Kelly, MSW, RSW, TITC-CT
I wish people knew how much control they have over how they feel. Life is not about what happens to us, but about how we perceive our experiences. Our story is created in the way we define it, and this story is about how to take control of the thoughts that hold us back.
I’ve always wanted to do something important. As a kid, I dreamt of singing in front of thousands of people, writing books, and inspiring and motivating others to create a better world. But I didn’t. At least, I haven’t yet (fingers crossed!). When given opportunities, I let my pounding heart and shortness of breath convince me that it was safer to pass rather than speak up.
By Linda Kelly, MSW, RSW
Maybe it’s loneliness. Maybe there’s something you’re supposed to be doing and you just can’t. Maybe you’re on your own and you don’t want to be, or you want to enjoy yourself but all of the old vices aren’t available to you.
You could be one of those people, like me, who used to turn to food. For some, it’s cigarettes or booze. There’s an entire culture built around indulging in wine and chocolate, and it’s so normalized that if you choose not to go that route, if alcohol doesn’t agree with you, and if you’re SICK of spending money to feel better about your life, you’re left dealing with these uncomfortable feelings.
If you’re like me, you’re going to skip through this article, read the bolded items, and hope for the best. I’m not going to stop you. But I should tell you…
If you’re feeling alone,
If you hate how you feel right now,
If you wish you could indulge in something that you know isn’t going to help,
You are not alone.
By Kristen Sohlman, HBA, RP
What is fear of success?
A fear of success is a fear that you will accomplish all that you set out to, but that you still will not feel happy, content, or satisfied once you reach your goal. It is a belief that you are undeserving of all the good things and recognition that come your way as a result of your accomplishments and successes. It is the opposite of a fear of failure, in that fear of failure is the fear of making mistakes and losing approval. Fear of success is the fear of accomplishment and being recognized and honoured. A fear of success is a lack of belief in your own ability to sustain your progress in your life, and the fear that your progress can self-destruct at any time. A fear of success can result in a lack of effort to achieve goals you have set for yourself, can result in self-destructive behaviour, may affect your ability to make healthy decisions, may result in a lack of motivation to grow, achieve, and to succeed.
What is success?
Suppressing anxieties of not being good enough.
Uniting all talents and virtues for a greater good.
Confronting and dismissing existing fears in an appropriate manner.
Chance to triumph over competition without feeling unworthy or underserving.
Expressing views and opinions without hesitation.
Setting sights on a goal and achieving it with both sacrifices and rewards.
Steps that if completed always lead straight to success, rewarding those who persevere.
How do I overcome a fear of success?
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
By Kristen Sohlman, HBA, RP
Gratitude is an emotion expressing thankfulness, appreciation, and kindness to someone or something. Gratitude is a part of positive psychology and studies have shown that we can deliberately cultivate or create gratitude in order to increase well-being, happiness, energy, optimism and empathy.
Do you find yourself wondering what would make you happy?
“Maybe I will be happy once I get married. Maybe I would be happy if I was rich. Maybe when I have children. Maybe I’ll finally be happy once I retire.”
But why not now?
If I were to ask you what makes you happy, you would probably have no problem providing me with at least a few answers - a new house, to get married, to lose weight, a higher-paying job, or winning the lottery. Answers to this question usually have a similar theme: our happiness depends on external circumstances.
Check here periodically for updates from Kelly Mental Health staff.
Check out kellymagazine.ca for recent mental health articles and blog posts.
This blog is for informational purposes only. It is not intended to provide personal support as an alternative to psychotherapy services. Please note that replies are viewable by the public, and we may take a few days to respond. If you require immediate assistance, please call us during business hours.
© COPYRIGHT 2019. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. WEB DESIGN BY PIPER