How to Stick to Your New Year’s Resolutions

By Kelly Graham, MSW, RSW

​We always hear that saying, “new year, new me!”. Often people make New Year’s resolutions, and they end up not keeping them. Many of these resolutions fail for a number of different reasons like being too busy, realizing the goal is harder to reach than first anticipated, or simply not caring about achieving the goal anymore. So how do you make goals and keep them? Well, you have to make sure you pick the right goal and follow strategies that will help you reach this.

What is the right goal? Your goal must be something that you want to accomplish — not something that other people say you should do. To be able to put in the work needed to reach your goal, you must have the connection and drive to want to attain it. This goal also must be attainable. Don’t pick a goal that is near impossible to reach. Don’t expect to lose 50 pounds in one week, or instantly change all of your habits overnight. Pick a goal that you believe you can reach with hard work and dedication. Once you start working towards this goal, you may need to adjust it. You may realize that it is harder to reach than first anticipated, or you may have reached it easily, and now need to increase the goal. Make sure that you know what you are going to need to do to achieve your goal. If it’s losing weight, then that will involve eating healthier and exercising. If you aren’t ready to do this, then pick a different goal where you know you will want to, and be prepared to, put in the work.

​When making your goal, make sure that it is designed for you, and not based off of somebody else’s goal. We are all different, and therefore our goals should be too. Just because some people can quit smoking without any help, doesn’t mean that may be the case for you. Goals should be specifically made to help better us and to help give us something attainable to strive to reach. If your goal is not realistic, then you will feel discouraged and give up. However, if you know you can accomplish it, then it can give you a sense of happiness and success when you finally do.

​So how do you reach your goal? Well to do this, there are a few different strategies. You may want to use all of them or some of them. Use whatever ones you think will help you stay on track to reaching your goal.

1. Make A Plan. Create an action plan of how you are going to meet your goal; and be specific! For example, I will exercise for 30 minutes, Monday – Friday, at 6 pm. By making concrete plans, it is easier to stick to, and harder to put off.
2. Habit Stack Your Goals. Link your action plan with something you already do. For example, I am going to exercise when I get home from work. Or, I am going to meditate after my morning coffee. This will help make your plans part of your routine and eventually become a habit.
3. Break Down Your Goal. If you have a bigger goal, break it down into smaller goals. This will help your goal not seem so daunting, and you will have many chances for accomplishments along the way. If your goal is to complete your degree, create the goal of completing the reading for a class, completing assignments, finishing each semester, etc. This will help keep you on track without getting discouraged with how much time or how much work is needed to reach your larger goal.
4. Align Your Environment with Your Goals. It is harder to ignore your plans if they are staring you right in the face. For example, if your goal is to read more, have a book handy wherever you would want to read (beside your bed, on your coffee table, etc.). On the other hand, if your goal is to drink less alcohol, then remove it from the house. If it isn’t there, then it will be harder to break your plan!
5. Have an Accountability Partner. Whether this person is somebody who is trying to reach a similar goal or somebody that you know who will keep you accountable, it’s always great to have outside help to keep you motivated. When you’re feeling unmotivated to do your action plan, this person can encourage you to keep going. If you don’t, you may feel like you are letting them down, so you get up and do your plan. It is also harder to hide the feeling of letting yourself down if somebody is pointing it out to you and not taking any of your excuses. If you have somebody who is completing a similar goal, then you have a buddy to complete your action plan with, or some healthy competition to motivate you to keep going.
6. Reward Yourself. When you are trying to reach your goal, it can be hard work. By giving yourself little rewards along the way, it will make the journey more enjoyable. This reward can be if you’ve stuck to your plan for a set amount of days, or if you’ve reached a milestone on the way to accomplishing your goal (losing 2 pounds when your goal is 5 pounds). Create little marks along the way where you can reward yourself. This reward can be whatever you want it to be. Going for dinner, having a relaxing night, buying yourself something you’ve been wanting, whatever will help you feel the motivation to keep going until your next reward.
7. Track Your Progress. There are many ways you can do this. By tracking your progress, it can help you see how far you have come to reaching your goal, and encourage you to keep going. One way to do this is called the “Seinfeld Strategy” or “the X effect.” On a calendar, each day you complete your action plan, give yourself an X. All of these X’s together begin to form a chain. You’ll begin to want to see how long you can make the chain without breaking it. The longer the chain, the more you’ll want to keep it going. If you miss a day, then it creates the challenge of making this chain longer than the last. (It is called the “Seinfeld Strategy” because Jerry Seinfeld used this to help him stick to his goal of writing every day).
8. Be Prepared for Set Backs. Nobody is perfect. Very rarely does anybody ever stick to accomplishing their goal and completing their action plan every day. It’s near impossible. Either you’ll get busy, or sick, or something more important will come up. And that’s okay; life happens. Be prepared to have days where you won’t complete your plan. But also, be prepared to get back on track to reaching your goal. Don’t let a setback discourage you, jump right back in! 

​An important aspect of goal setting is planning on how you are going to measure your goal. Without measuring, we don't know how far we’ve come or how far we have to go. Use a measuring tool that you think would be best for you. For example, when I’m trying to lose weight, the numbers on the scale discourage me. Instead, I measure the areas I want to see weight loss from (waist and hips). This helps me keep track of my progress, without getting discouraged by the scale. Whether it's keeping track of how many push-ups you can do, how many pages you have read in a book so far, or journaling how your life has changed since you started using relaxation techniques, measuring your progress is important. Only by measuring can we know how to improve or adjust our plan or goal, to better fit us and our schedule. By looking at your progress, it can also help fill you with a sense of accomplishment, and the motivation to keep going.
 
While the journey to accomplishing your goal can be hard and full of ups and downs, when you finally achieve it, you will be amazed and proud at all of the work that you have done to get there. Give yourself a chance to bask in this success. Celebrate your accomplishment; you deserve it! And then you can begin to make new goals for yourself.

​While there will be times in life where we may not always reach our goals, that should not discourage us from trying. We set goals to try and better ourselves and our lives. Whether you have to adjust your goal to better fit what you can accomplish, or change your goal altogether; nothing is a failure. By trying to reach our goals, we can learn more about ourselves and what we want in life. So, keep making goals, whatever they may be, and try whatever strategies you need to achieve them.
 
Some more information about goal setting and strategies:

• Goal Setting: A Scientific Guide to Setting and Achieving Goals
  • https://jamesclear.com/goal-setting
• Forget About Setting Goals. Focus on This Instead
  • https://jamesclear.com/goals-systems
• The Goldilocks Rule: How to Stay Motivated in Life and Business
  • https://jamesclear.com/goldilocks-rule
• How to Stop Procrastinating on Your Goals by Using the “Seinfeld Strategy”
  • Retrieved from https://jamesclear.com/stop-procrastinating-seinfeld-strategy
• Measure Backward, Not Forward
  • Retrieved from https://jamesclear.com/measure-backward
• How to Stick with Good Habits Every Day by Using the “Paper Clip Strategy”
  • Retrieved from https://jamesclear.com/paper-clips