Letting Go

By Kristen Sohlman, HBA, RP

What are you holding on to?  Is it hurt, fear, guilt, self-doubt, old beliefs, or even sadness?  Then ask yourself this: is it worth letting go of what you are holding on to for the betterment of yourself or for the betterment of your life? 

By letting go, you are acknowledging that what you have been holding on to is not helping you, is not helping you solve the problem, is not helping to change someone else, or is not helping you get what you want.  Holding on does not serve you well.  In all actuality, by holding on, you may be blocking yourself from what you actually want, need, and deserve. 
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Stop trying to control situations and outcomes.  Perhaps in the past it served you to control people or circumstances as it was not safe, or your rights were not being met.  When you rely on yourself, you can put forth trust and let things happen as they should.  Life can unfold as it should.  You are strong enough and good enough to have a better life.  You do not need to do any better, to be any better, or to be more than you are.  Who you were in the past was good enough for that day and who you are today is good enough for today.

There is hope and possibility in letting go.  In fact, sometimes after you make the decision to let go you may get what you want or what you had hoped for.  However, sometimes this does not happen. It may take longer than you had hoped, it may not happen at all, or maybe something better comes along!

By letting go, you are freeing yourself.  By letting go, you are giving yourself the ideal environment for the best possible outcomes and solutions for your life. 

1. Accept that you are who you are and that other people are who they are, and both can coexist together.
2. Accept that there are no guarantees in life and that even the best laid plans can go awry. 
3. Be mindful of your own expectations of others and do not impose your own values and beliefs upon them.
4. Take control of your life.  Take control of your own actions and behaviours.
5. Sometimes setting a boundary means that you need to let go.
6. Be aware of your own negative thoughts and beliefs. 
7. Take control of how you feel about yourself and free yourself from worrying about what others think of you.
8. Learn.  Learn from others' mistakes.  Learn from your own mistakes.
9. Learn to accept the things that you cannot change and learn to change the things that you can.
10. Have fun, relax, laugh, and let yourself go.  Don’t take yourself too seriously.
11. Do what scares you if it is safe to do so.  Don’t let fear hold you back.
12. Use your own voice and share with others appropriately and assertively what works for you.
13. Allow yourself to feel.  Allow yourself to feel both “positive” and “negative” emotions.  They are all healthy and normal emotions.  Don’t stuff how you feel.  Cry if you feel like it. 
14. Learn to forgive yourself and others. 
15. Let go!

Cohen, I. S. (2017). Important tips on how to let go and free yourself. Psychology Today. [Web page] Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/your-emotional-meter/201708/important-tips-how-let-go-and-free-yourself