When You’re Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop

By Kelly Graham, MSW, RSW

​Have things ever been going so well in your life that you start wondering, when is it going to end? When is something bad going to happen? This happiness is too good to last. Well, you’re not alone. This is a common thought to have, especially when people have faced difficult times in their life and aren’t used to good things happening to them. The good news is that just because you’re thinking this, doesn’t mean that anything bad is actually going to happen.
 
Change is the only thing that is a constant in life. This can be scary, especially when things are going well for us. You don’t want things to change; you want to stay this happy forever. Just because things are going to change, doesn’t mean that it’s necessarily for the worst or that you won’t still be happy. You might be even happier! 

One of my favourite quotes that I try and live by comes from the Dalai Lama. He said, “if a problem is fixable, if a situation is such that you can do something about it, then there is no need to worry. If it's not fixable, then there is no help in worrying. There is no benefit in worrying whatsoever.” By worrying about what is going to happen, and when something bad is going to happen, it takes away from the happiness you are feeling. That's right: You are unintentionally self-sabotaging your happiness by worrying about when it is going to end. You become so scared that you can’t enjoy what is making you happy.
 
So how can you stop worrying and enjoy your life?

1. Confront These Thoughts. Acknowledge that these thoughts are there, but challenge them. What if my happiness stays? What if the other shoe doesn’t drop? Just because you think it’s going to happen, doesn’t mean it will. Try not to dwell on these thoughts for too long. If you can, redirect your thinking to the present.
   
2. Enjoy Life. Appreciate every moment of happiness. Soak it all in. Take time to reflect on what you have that is making you feel happy. Keep your mind in the present moment, not in the future or past.  
3. Relax. Having all of these thoughts can cause anxiety and stress. Whenever you feel like you are getting overwhelmed, take deep breaths. Breathe in for the count of 4, hold the breath for the count of 4, then release the breath for the count of 4. You can also find many other breathing exercises just by searching “breathing exercises” online. Find what works for you to stay calm and in the present moment.
   
4. Accept Change. Know that change will happen and you cannot stop it. Instead of wasting your energy trying to fight it, accept it. You’ll save a lot of energy.  
5. Change Your Perception. While everyone is different when it comes to how they look at life, it never hurts to have hope. Have hope and believe that happiness will happen or continue to happen for you. While it can be hard to change your perception instantaneously, taking little steps can help. Try telling yourself positive affirmations every day. Make a list of 3-5 and tell yourself them every morning when you wake up. They can be things like, “I deserve to be happy,” “Change is not my enemy,” “I will live in the moment,” “The future is bright for me,” etc.

​While life has its ups and downs, have hope that you can make it through the rough times to get to the good times. If we never had hardships in our life, then we wouldn’t be able to appreciate the good times. And even if not everything in life is making you happy, appreciate what is. Take time to be grateful for the happiness you have found. If we know what makes us happy, then we can fight to keep that in our lives. Our happiness is important, and as long as something is continuing to make us happy, it is worth making time for. So, enjoy your happiness and live in the moment, life is a wild ride, and we never know where it will take us.